Nigmabox Rundown (27/9-03/10) Rundown CXXXIV: The Darkening

0 KLK Everybody's getting scary I don't know about this guys I am freaking out here spooky skelemenI should probably bring up how Tony Hawk Pro Skater 5 is quite the turd of a game from what I can tell.  With a Metacritic of 36 on the PS4 and a… 48 on XBO?  I thought that the XBO version wouldn’t work for some people because the game is so terribly made and needs a patch bigger than the game itself to, presumably, even run.  Bad framerate, textures, physics, and general game feel all make it a title that will likely just be an ash can project made to renew a license that Activision probably only spent a few million making and shat out the door six months too early…  Not that I really care about the series though, I just like the soundtracks of the first four games and that’s it.

Do I have anything to shake my fist at Konami for this week?  Yes, yes I do.  Apparently, Silent Hills would have involved Hideo Kojima, Guillermo Del Toro, and Junji Ito, a Japanese horror legend who, admittedly, hasn’t done much in recent years, was planning on joining the project.  Or in other words, if those three were also joined with the return of Akira Yamaoka, then this game would have probably been amazing.  But, Konami had to be Konami, and #FucKonami.1 SCD Chasing Butterflies at the age of 80

On the subject of sour notes, remember that Project Phoenix Kickstarter title from a while back, said to be a grand daddy of a big old SRPG?  Raised a cool million?  Well, that was two years ago, and the team currently has, well…  Most of the story, design, models, music, and animations are there, but no textures, script, level design, or any major programming at all.  Why is that?  Well, the programmer they were going after, David Clark, the main programmer for Ori and the Blind Forest, will not be working with them, and that man is supposedly very, very, very good at what he does.  Or in other words, this is just a reason why you should be careful when crowdfunding games.  You need to accept that the game may never be.  2 DR even shit could make something great if it worked on it forever so move fast fucker or be raped by bears

Such as the new Battletech game that is also being worked on by the folks who brought back Shadowrun.  And seeing as how it is multiplayer focused from what I could gather, and has nothing but concept art to show, I will put in my ignore bucket.  But what of Home Free, that randomly generated open world dog survival and exploration game?  Well, if I were in charge of a company that would pick up pet projects like this and give them a marketing and PR boost, I would choose this one, as its low polygon style is charming and practical, its animations are fluid, and I love the idea of being a dog in the city.  But with no clear objective, I wonder if the game would be much beyond a novelty.  Cynicism, tastes chucky, even in milk!3 CUM

I am also very cynical about VR ever really taking off in a practical way, at least at homes, as somebody will die because of a VR headset based on the demos that have been out for the past five years.  Plus, the Oculus Rift may cost over over $350 as it will be a very customizable and well made VR headset.  I actually really do like the idea of VR failing, in part due to how it is not true Virtual Reality as far as I am concerned, much like how I like the idea of somehow preventing motion and touch controls from ever existing in games.  It is part of the reason why the fact that Scalebound originally starred a little girl who controlled dinosaurs does not make me pine for the this lost version, as it was for the Wii.4 TDIAPT The Fuck Is this witchcraft hell nah flat screen plasma TVs

Man, was that a long time ago, about seventeen years if I recall, which is thrice as long as since the release of Yo-Kai watch back during the Warring States period back in the Nippon.  Nonsensical rambling aside, Level 5 and the Japanese advertising firm Dentsu formed Level 5 Abby.  A proper international branch for the company that will handle all facets of media relating to their child targeted IPs.  Talking about child targeted IPs, Chibi-Robo: Zip Lash may be the last Chibi-Robo game.  As a fan of the first two games, this is incredibly disheartening.  The fact the series will die, and the fact it will die with the exact opposite of what I wanted.  I just want to go back to exploring a neat looking house and meeting weird but delightful characters while being a good little helper robot, but unless this uninteresting looking platformer does well, that may never happen again.5 P4G Fo Sho for sure certainly got it exactly gangsta cred true dat home slice

Speaking of dead possibilities, that Deus Ex: Mankind Divided pre-order thing from a few weeks ago has been cancelled after people yelled at Square Enix to stop being a money hungry jerk-faced prick.  A term I would not use to describe the recently launched monthly subscription service, Humble Monthly, where for $12 a month you will get a series of games you may or may not want.  Kinda like Playstation Plus or Games With Gold, but three times the price and only focusing on the free games themselves.  6 Unknown nope no way adorable

Microsoft has bought Havok.  Yes, that physics engine that is used in about 30% of all AAA games is now owned by a company who has a stake in the video game industry, but seeing as how they want to make money, they will likely change very little about how Havok conducts itself, and will let people use it for Sony and Nintendo games.  Just like how them buying AMD, which is a rumor that has been around for a while, would not result in Nintendo and Sony using other CPUs and GPUs in their future consoles.  Moving on.7 BRS apathy disinterest trust whatever okay sure fine

Back to things that only have to do with the video games, Zangief is coming back into Street Fighter V, means only three character reveals remain for the initial launch, one veteran and two newcomers…  Actually, according to a leaked screenshot from Famitsu, one of those new characters is somebody by the name of Laura, the Brazilian fighter in this tournament of world warriors.  While the same source, a post by the “BBW MILF Idol” and mashup maker Thomas Truong, mentions a now deleted tweet about a character named Zen from Ken Bogard, who’s pretty big in the FGC.  …Why am I even posting about Street Fighter V characters?  Probably the Super Best Friends and their podcast where they occasionally dork out about fighting games.8 Super Best Friends by Indonesian Bob

Sure, end with a screengrab from a rule 63 comic wherein lesbian sex occurs…  I also used a page from Lemonfont’s Shapeshifter comic, which is NSFW as hell, but I like it for the weirdness, characters, and how well it is drawn, alright.  Good night children, and be sure not to pet the goats, they are covered with the plague.

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