Nigmabox Rundown (19/7-25/7) *Insert Vaguely Threatening And Concerning Line Here*

0 Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy huh what awkward why the fuck not they are both touching their cocksWhen it comes to writing, for whatever reason my brain feels like an old piece of toast on this faithful day, and I never prepare an introductory bit for Nigmabox Rundowns… So I’ll just get on with it and post the page and a half I’ve been gradually building over the course of the past week.

Acting as a last minute tidbit from Sunday that I was unable to catch before last week’s post went up, as it had yet to happen, a new character is coming to Street Fighter V, Necalli, who looks pretty rad, but I will not lay a finger on any fighting game as I am terrible at button inputs.  I am also terrible at using the keyboard and mouse interface.  I mean, I can do it, but only if there is no real pressure to be fast with your actions.  Meaning that MMOs are pretty much a dead genre to me, and for plenty of other reasons, so the news that Phantasy Star Online 2 will be playable in English doesn’t do much for me.  Notice my wording there, as the game is not being published in North America, and is simply heading to a country where an English version is available and Westerners should be able to properly play it without jumping through some narrow hoops.1 SCD Well Done Good Job Pat on head

On a lighter note, Atlus and Vanillaware have revealed that their collaborative project is actually two games, an enhanced remastering and remake of the PS2 title Odin Sphere, Odin Sphere: Leifdrasir is coming to PS4 and Vita, but as I guessed last week, they are also working on that Sci-fi game, which will be detailed more come TGS.  An event that I recall being underwhelming in most cases due to Japan’s diminishing console marketplace and creation of games made for Western audiences like Devil’s Third, a title originally backed by THQ, which Nintendo of America will publish, while the game’s developer will handle the free to play PC version of the game… Yeah, I did not know about a PC version either, and was surprised to see it announced like this and so close to its likely release.2 MLM Surprise Reasearch Studying

Nintendo of America is also teaming up with Digipen, the college to open Digipen Studios as a way for the many young and upcoming game creators of tomorrow to get started on making retail titles for the world to play and enjoy and maybe snag some exclusives and regain a Western studio akin to… Wait, this is Singapore based?  In that case they will likely do a ton of outsourcing for developers, which is fine.  I mean, not every studio would want to do every project, like  remastering the mediocre Dead Island.  While I understand that some people may like that game, as far as I am concerned the only two parts of the game I find to be worthwhile are the awesome trailer that had nothing to do with the game and the track “Who Do You Voodoo, Bitch?”  While only a rumor at this point, an african retailer listed the game, and retailers often do not have incorrect information like this.3 Watamota Strippers on metal legs because why not random

That said, there are scummier things you could do, as this is a bit of a cash grab, but is very easy to ignore.  It is harder to ignore a company who basically took a free game, put it through Greenlight by bribing people with free keys, which they did not provide, and then profited off of their theft… Only on Steam.  Valve, you know you can hire and contract people out to do things, right?  I get that a lot of higher ups at company are dumb and hate having people on payroll, but get your shit straight, you have loads of money and loads of problems that your money could fix.  You’re not a dev like Square Enix who needed a publisher to help back their sequel for pseudo exclusivity, as is the case for Rise of the Tomb Raider, which is coming to PC and PS4 in 2016.  I assumed as much since day one, and am now ready to ignore this game’s existence, because boy did I not enjoy the 2013 title.4 Haganai WHite Soapy Poo Horrah!

So, Spike Chunsoft, creators of the Mystery Dungeon games, an era of Dragon Ball Z games, some of the best visual novels of the past decade, and technically the developers of the first couple Dragon Quest games, not that any of those people still work there.  They are doing a thing with Tri-Ace, makers of such classics as half the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy, Star Ocean: The Last Hope, the predecessor to Radiant Historia, and that 3DS game Konami thought was too Japanese to be localized.  What is this thing?  An RPG, but keywords describing it are being dished out as time goes on…  You know why I think that Shadow of Mordor had an amazing announcement?  Because it debuted with seven minutes of gameplay while explaining the core mechanics.5 KLK You Better believe that's right twin birds of apathy nothing's gonna stop us sarcasm

A rumor popped up, and was then shot down by Mark Laidlaw of Valve, explaining why Half Life 3 is not coming out and may never be released.  In short, the rumor dictates that Valve’s management is scared that the game will be ripped to shreds upon release, as it is not the ideal masterpiece that some people expect.  There is a small team working on it, while the script and story have been settled on.  Now, Valve in its current state is incompetent when it comes to running a storefront, so the idea that they are struggling to piece the game together is one I wholeheartedly believe.  I feel that the stupidly long wait, which had lasted to the point of universal apathy is a sign that somebody needs to go in there, punch some people in the face, and reorganize things, because with millions in the bank there is no reason to be this sloppy.6 Press Switch do it you bitch cunt fucker or you will be slapped harder obey the mighty tits obey listen

*Insert transition about Valve’s service, Steam, and the game developer MercurySteam.*  Yes, the people behind Lords of Shadow and some other games whose titles were prefaced by the names Clive Barker and American McGee, meaning this is their first wholly original title from what I can tell, at least based on the sci-fi teaser on their website.  Perhaps a Gamescom reveal is in order for this Spanish developer, but I do not know.  I do know that, apparently, Kojima and Del Toro are still hoping to work on a project together, and if they unite on Kickstarter, they will likely break the ten million mark.  Not that they need to crowdfund a project.  Guillermo del Toro’s film career has been successful and he houses a strong fan following, while Kojima is one of the most prolific and recognizable names in the industry.  I can only imagine publishers begging to be a part of this project.6 HHD I know about the breads

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