Nigmabox Rundown (11/1-17/1) Let Nintendo’s Train Penetrate Your Butthole, Dummy!

Gaf HypeI honestly forgot about this post until the last minute, and did not prepare any sort of pseudo-witty banter.  As such, I am just going to jump into this week’s Nigmabox Rundown, which I have titled “Let Nintendo’s Train Penetrate Your Butthole, Dummy!”  I’m glad that I’ve been doing this for about two years now…

Okay, so the Nintendo Direct this past Wednesday was the biggest event of the week, and I would say as a Nintendo Direct, it was pretty good.  Not a lot of surprises, but the Direct existed more to describe the big N’s plans for the next few months.  With Puzzles and Dragons Z being released worldwide this May, but with a Super Mario Brothers version of the hit JRPG puzzler, as that is necessary.  Actually, it looks very much like an in-depth reskin of something I am actually curious about playing, but I have quite the backlog already.1 P4G 150 hours games should not be this long or time consuming fuck this

Pokemon Shuffle comes across as a potentially really gross mobile free to play game when it hits 3DS in about a month.  I also wonder why exactly this is not labeled as a Toezei game, but I’d guess that there are some major mechanic changes I am simply not aware of, as I certainly do not remember playing that game back in… 2007.  Instead, fork your money over to Majora’s Mask 3D and Monster Hunter 4, as they are both arriving on February 13th, with the New Nintendo 3DS XL…Haganai Discomfort From Breasts Oh Dear

In a very odd move, Nintendo will not be releasing the regular sized New 3DS, the one with interchangeable faceplates, outside of Japan… except for Europe, where you can make your own bundle.  This is very odd, as I cannot see how Nintendo would fail to make money from selling faceplates for $10-15 a pop, and why exactly it would be more financially viable in Europe, which normally gets the shaft on these sorts of things.  Though, North America is also not getting an AC Adapter to charge their New 3DS XL, which it pretty damn lame, as I was expecting a charging cradle to be included.  Still, I will likely pick one up, but I feel like waiting until I am certain I will not get a system that does not have that disgusting glossy finish on it.  No, really, there is no reason not to give handheld devices a matte finish.  They are gross otherwise.2 HeroJob This Feels Vile Gross Disgusting Why god you fuck bitch

Afterall, I will be needing something to play Codename STEAM on, which I am warming up to mildly, but fear it will not be as dumb as it should be, and I feel it should be dumb to the point where Lincoln pilots a giant mech to punch the moon in half.  Though, I would also love it if Fire Emblem was all about social links and did not focus on a serious plot, as it appears to with its newly revealed next title, probably coming in 2016…  I mean, it looks good, and I liked Awakening a lot, I just hope you can manipulate characters’ emotions.3 PGOS Your Emotions Leave Much to be Desired

On the subject of 2016, hopefully I will have earned enough dollars from my job in order to buy a New monitor and a Wii U to hook up with it, as Nintendo once more did a good job at selling it.  The ability to purchase Wii titles as downloadables is already a pretty nice touch, or I would say that if the games possessed some degree of upscaling.  They do not, so I cannot help but view the Dolphin emulator as a better alternative, albeit one that does not function properly a lot of the time.4 KLK That is a really not good bad thing that you are doing please stop you are the ruiner

After All, Nintendo games look great in HD, such as Splatoon, though the art direction would leave the game looking brilliant at just about any resolution.  That said, I would not even touch the Multiplayer.  Though that is something of a theme with all games, including the undetailed Project Treasure from Bando Namcais.  It stems even to something like Hyrule Warriors’ co-op, which I would ignore even if you can theoretically have Fierce Deity Link and Midna team up in the next Hyrule Warriors expansion.  Now I’m just wondering when Ultimate Hyrule Warriors is coming out…5 KLK Waiting for something interesting to happen dull bored why no explosions

Certainly after Monado 2: The Cross Chronicles, or Xenoblade Chronicles X, a far worse title, but I should expect Nintendo to come up with the worst titles after a decade of doing so.  Once again, the game looks grand, but I only got to about half of Xenoblade, and was at the 70 hour mark… and this game looks way bigger.  Maybe I am just an odd duck in this world full of birds, but shouldn’t you design a game so that the player wants to do everything inside your game?  If that means cutting out a lot of content, do it.6 KS Really  Can I do it have it be it happy

There was also a 3DS Rhythm Heaven announced for Japan, but I feel dedicating a page to a Nintendo Direct is plenty, and should move on to… Phantom Dust.  No, there were not any new details, but there was clarification as to what the game would be.  A 30 hour JRPG, despite how Phantom Dust is not a JRPG, that will not be a packaged $60 title, as that is very risky.  And you know Microsoft, they aren’t the type to risk competing with Playstation 4 at the same price, as they did for, what, the past two weeks?  Meaning that the XBO is back to $350!  And yes, I am still pushing the XBO label, because XB1 is inaccurate, and do not get me started on X1…7 Bitter Change fuck off you annoying bitch I am going home brat hate go away

Advertisements

Please Leave A Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s