Nigmabox Rundown (25/5-31/5) Shut Your Face And Enjoy The World Before Vincent Dawn Destroys It!

0P4G hmhmhm shoo bee doo bee fucking the slits aint got ntohin to be up in the butt cos i be the sex master give me dawg

My Persona 4 Golden review has finally gone gold, meaning I finished and published it for all to judge.  But I need to get back into the swing of things and knew I had a busy week coming up, which meant I needed to get something quick played and out of the way.  It is Sonic Adventure 2, one of my favorite games as a kid, and a game that is like meeting your old pal from elementary and middle school and seeing that they started doing that Shrinkers, getting their senses all messed up and having their toes fall off.  So yes, the game is terrible from a certain standpoint.  I also got RPG Maker, and hope to eventually do something with that, but first my second novel’s got to get its rough draft done.  Beware Vincent Dawn, as he will literally mold you into a different person.

There is no question that for one reason or another there were a handful of quality Japan exclusive Xbox titles back in the day, and who would’ve guessed it, but that’s going to be the case with Xbox One.  More specifically, Microsoft revealed a slew of visual novels for their systems, which I find to be absurd as Chaos;Child, Psycho Pass, and Mystereet F: Curtain Call for the Detectives have, at best, a 10% chance of ever coming out here.  I’d like to see them, but Xbox One is absolutely the wrong place for visual novels, which I figured would be common sense as they’re always ported over to handhelds and the PC in the end.  Now, these are likely just a way to get Japan excited for the system, while us dumb North Americans and Eruopers will get our own three games.  Still, it feels bad hearing about a game that will never be playable unless you can read complex kanji.1P4G Being Japanese and loving japanese life as a weaboo nerd geek sugoi

But I suppose there will always be games that both hit the English world and are also revealed before E3, much like Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham, which goes into the final frontier of space while remaining as charming and campy as Lego games have been for years.  While the “youngsters” will get their Battlefield Hardline, a Visceral developed spin-off to the franchise that will play more like Payday: The Heist than it will Battlefield 4, meaning that it will hopefully work, hey-o!  Nintendo also quickly let the world know that Pushmo 3 is Wii U bound, while Square is bringing over the ever elusive Dragon Quest X, which is on PC, meaning I may actually play if before calling it a vile piece of something that should be purged from the Earth, just like-2KLK The Most Excellent OCmeback and defeat pwned fuck you victory greatness badical

But the opposite of announcing that a game will be coming soon is delaying it… actually I guess it would be cancelation, but the point is that the supposedly lackluster The Evil Within will be delayed two months for polish, sending it to die in the terrible time that is Q4, which is almost as bad as Q1, a spot The Order: 1886 will take… assuming that’s what early 2015 means.  While Valve’s steam machines and controller will be waiting in the same year.  And while neither announced or delayed, Take Two more or less said that another Red Dead and Bioshock are coming.3P4G living a life of excellence so cool badical kewl great awesome amongst the failure and badness

But enough of the future, let’s talk of it and the past simultaneously by recalling how Nintendo prevented monetization of anything featuring their games’ footage a while back.  This was a very low move that likely hurt them in the long run, as they have, a year later, launched an affiliate program, meaning they pick who gets to share their games and make money from it… yeah, still super scummy.  What is not scummy, but likely should be, is this little bit I stumbled upon about a “typical” Japanese game designers’ desk, which conforms to many stereotypes while looking like an environment where there is too much clutter to properly get one’s work done.  Hell, you simply do not open a web browser unless you need to while working, and you certainly should not have loads of toys right beneath your monitor.  Surround yourself with what you love, but when looking at your screen, you should keep things minimalistic… Or maybe that’s just me.4Mari What Do you want it is creepy please stop this and go away you annoying man also who the fukc is this average gamer lol fuck

Well, that’s all I felt like talking about this week, see you next one where I do an E3 prep thing.  Although my planned E3 coverage isn’t going to be as… immediate as I would have liked.  Why?  I’ve got to work on the money where everybody but Nintendo will let their load out.  Meaning I will need to abridge things and do a post about the press conferences on Tuesday, ‘cos I’m not doing jack that day!  Oh, and just as an arbitrary thing, I want three things from the industry at E3, a 3DS Metroid(Very Probable), another World Ends with You(Not a Chance), and a zany game from Volition(…Maybe not at E3).  Give me those and I will be a happy Nigma.E3 2014

 

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