…All of this? I only care about it a morsel as much as I care about Pokemon X/Y. I’ve been following the Neogaf thread about it and goddamn am I excited. I know, the “fun” is in discovering the new Pokemons you never heard of. Well, not for me. I’ve just been planning and preparing everything for my big rush into the Kalos region where I have the stupid, stupid, stupid goal of getting them all. Every poop licking Pocket Monster there is… Now, could one of you sexy young infants help me find my marbles? I’ll check and see if any flew up your assholes.
Following the newest update the the Wii U that allowed off TV play for Wii games much to nearly everyone’s confusement, Nintendo planted their info bombs right before it would be considered sporadically by giving one more Nintendo Direct. Which was naturally a coal mine of information. With Super Mario 3D World looking from a very basic 3D Mario game ala 3D Land, into something only a few pegs below Galaxy and several above Super Mario Bros. U. Smash Brothers naturally getting Sonic, whose new game is continuing to look rather impressive, despite how I would undoubtedly loathe it somehow.
Donkey Kong Tropical Freeze will be coming out in 2014 in an attempt to not have a gush of titles at once without any more for four months. Bravely Default still sounds like they got voice actors who haven’t worked in a decade, with the dual audio tracks being something advertised the moment one of the character began to speak through a horribly compressed filter. A Link Between Worlds will be nonlinear seeing as how you can now rent items as you please, although it is in a manner that sounds like they are testing the waters for Zelda Wii U. Which will apparently uproot tradition according to Aonuma. Which sounds good to me, but will likely spell some caramel breed of disappointment.
Aside from that, it was mostly minor details about Pikmin DLC, Streetpass, AniCross, and new releases this year, as 2014 looks far more barren for 3DS. Except for my personal favorite Nintendo non-Pokemon franchise, Kirby! Yes, after 3 years there will finally be a Kirby game for 3DS, and it looks like a single player version of that Wii title that most people forgot about. Although, I would totally pay for a port of that anyway. I’m a bit underwhelmed, as I find Kirby to be the best character to test out new Nintendo hardware and ideas, so the vanilla platformer approach seems a bit lackluster after the pink puff ball spent his 21st doing jack. Still gonna buy it though.
Which is a rather keen, but unintentional segway to Cosmic Star Heroine! The fifth game by Zeboyd, a creator of rather impressively good JRPGs by a team of two who understand what makes the genre appealing, and what makes it not so good. It’s currently on Kickstarter, and I feel a bit obliged to shout about it, even if I am yelling at a wall. I’ll hook you up with Rain Slick 3 Steam keys if you can prove yourself as a backer too, boy! Why? Because I want the game to be as good as it can be, and money fixes eveyrthing!
Not that I back tons of stuff on Kickstarter, just four things so far. But one of those was not Mighty Number Nine… I like my spelling better! Regardless, Keiji Inafune’s Mega Man HD finished its campaign with a total of over four million dollars. Over 427% of the requested $900,000, and is not just going to be on the PC, but on handhelds, Gen7 machines, and Gen8 machines. With at least five extra stages, new game+, a co-op mode, and a couple more extras, it reached over 15 stretch goals, and is proof that people love that there Mega Man. Or not anymore, because this is the new Mega Man, and Capcom owns only the classic design and name.
Also Shantae managed to push through its initial goal and then some. Specifically by an extra 100%, even though the kickstarter page may say differently. Meaning in addition to there being a sizable $15 downloadable title, it will also have a second campaign that reuses assets while having a new story with a second character, with rebalanced stats for the main story to boot. Along with two bonus subplots that the game will be built around, seeing as how very little has been made. Yet with a year of work, $800,000, and people who’ve been planning this for several yonks, It’s probably my most anticipated 2014 title, as odd as that may be.
However, none of those numbers mean much when dealing with the big boys and their massive trousers. With Mighty No. 9’s entire budget likely being the initial advertising budget for that new Sonic Boom thing. A CG kid’s show that is planned to be at least 52 episodes arriving in 2014 and is only notable based on the silhouettes given off showing what appears to be character redesigns, well, the second redesigns if you’ll remember 1999. Honestly, as someone who loved himself some Sonic as a kid, I’m confused as to why the series still holds much relevance, especially with children nowadays, as they are all stinky little punks who live off of smart phones. Although, I would totally be psyched if the rumored Gen8 Sonic game is legit, because it has teenage versions of teenage character, which is so stupid I need to own it. Although, I’d bet it to be 100% fake.
Oh, but I’m old fashioned and will be lynched for that in due time, just like how Naughty Dog probably would’ve been by Jak & Daxter fans if their reboot ever happened. Turns out that after making a trilogy of games with one racing spin off, you lose interest in a series’ current form and want to give it the second dose of dark reboot that featured a cartoon becoming a realistic animal. A move that would’ve just pissed people off in the long run, so instead we got Last of Us. A game that in spite of my problems with it and my playstyle being very much in defiance with what the game demanded, I cannot call it bad.
Something that I can say about a lot of things, for reasons of experience or the lack thereof. Meaning that I can call the eventual releases of Left 4 Dead 3 and Half Life 3. As I never enjoyed four player co-op in a survival scenario, while Half Life 2 made me finally give traditional FPS a try much to my surprise. With the subject coming up due to an employee listing that has leaked confirming that the games are in development and will be out before 2017. Which is also the same time we’d likely get another look at The Last Guardian, a game that has been rebuilt several times over, and has been engineered to showcase the PS4’s power. Effectively losing millions by building something that didn’t work. Though, I’d say that if after two years you’re game is not at least 50% done, you should probably give up.
Speaking of giving up, I’m done. Gonna go back to those Pokemon Spreadsheets, dawgs!