Nigmabox Rundown (22/9-28/9) Steam Powered Planets and Stinky Terrorists

MINEY’know, I was originally going to save these paragraphs until next week, but oh dearie I had to be thrown into Kotaku to find a… y’know what?  Read the stuff about them Steam Machines and Pokemons and then see me rage against the society or something like that.  All of which I sorta agree with ex post facto, but would not use so many of them stoopid emotions.

Alrighty, what’s been the happs the past couple o’ days?  Well, the big kicker in a time focused more on games than the industry itself was Valve’s living room plans.  Where, the company that I no longer believe to be an actual place, but rather an entity floating in the void had three key features they wanted to share with the mortals of this earth.  Number one, SteamOS.  A free Linux based operating system that is intended for living room computers, but can be used for any gaming PC, although it would likely be limited at most other things because Linux.

Watamote I'm a cat and I'm having super sex fuck time yay

Though, the announcement itself is fairly underwhelming until you get to number two, SteamBoxes.  Essentially consoles put out by Valve and several hardware manufacturers that are not expected to release for several months, but will basically be a Big Picture mode box.  Alternatively, you can build your own computer and make one yourself, because Valve is inclusive like that.  Or perhaps it will be used with the whole family sharing thing so your massive Steam train can be driven by any one.  Sharing is caring!

SB Joyous Angels

But this is stuff that people could do themselves if they happened to have the know how, and it is smart to save the best for the big great finale.  Number three, SteamPad.  If you had told me about a controller with no thumbsticks and no traditional four face buttons, I would’ve called you a blasphemous dragon wearing the face of a man.  But Valve has earned by trust by proving themselves as designers, and if they screwed the pooch, they would be facing bankruptcy, I think.  With a total of sixteen buttons, two trackpads, a touch screen, and even the ability to be speakers, I’m skeptical, but also excited as all hell!  Mostly because I can finally try playing RTS.  Oh, and the controller apparently works well with platformers.

Nyarko Mario Reference of Joy Yahoo

At the same time, it is easy to excite me.  I mean, show me one new Pokemon that is basically the result of mashing two of a previous Pokemon together is enough to make my day.  But my week can be made by giving me tons of Pokemon stat renovations.  With the biggest ones being how you can now get 350% of normal EXP when battling Pokemon thanks to a newly improved EXP share.  The fact that catching Pokemon now also nets equal EXP to beating them in battle.  And you can only have one Mega Pokemon per team in order to maintain balance.  …It is a slow week, alright?

Watamote I'm Bored.  Do Something People

So slow that I feel the need to mention Bravely Default and its eternally long wait before it is localized.  But who could deny the wait when the game has such wonderful voice work… Did I say wonderful?  I mean 2001 level of acceptable.  I’m not alone in thinking this, but jeeze, Nintendo.  Heck, I originally though the game lacked voice acting overall.  Not having something that sounds like it was recorded on a built in microphone due to the ancient menace of cartridge space.

GUP Oh shit crap potato chips wuzzat

Although, I suppose disk space is still a thing, well not anymore with the blu-ray disks apparently being part of Gen8.  A generation that shall certainly contain some boxes more bizarre than the Steam Machines as video game consoles are now legal in China!  I can’t help but view this as a good thing, even though I have no clue what China’s situation in the world is.  All I know is that there will be Chinese Xboxes because they are already pretty darn cheap to make.

SCD Video game systems console of course

Which I could potentially use as a transition here, but after reading the next piece, I am not even close to being in the mood.  Minecraft has been blamed for a school shooting…  For god’s sake!  Now, I consider any claims of media causing violence to be on basically the same level.  But it is something that is ingrained into the culture of, well, the entire world more or less.  Despite all our best intentions, humans are still animals, very sophisticated animals, but we know that there is so much more we can aim for.  But with seven billion of anything, quality is an afterthought of sorts.

SB People WIll Hate You For This

Now, I could get angry about the stated claims about the game from the local Orlando TV station about using knives, shotguns, and hammers.  None of which appear in the game unless mods are added.  Though you can look at the Hot Coffee incident to see that means jack.  I’m not going to though, as I’d rather reiterate something I said on Twitter this past week.  “I just realized that I was six when I first learned what a woman’s breast looked like.  Thanks John Carpenter and my Mom.  I’m not being sarcastic, kids need to be shown messed up stuff, that way they would not be super interested in it when they’re 12.  Show your three-year-old Alien 3, they’ll thank you for it.”

Nyarko Exactly You Got It Perfect WonderfulYou want your kid to not be a screw-up?  Talk to them.  Every single day.  I understand that there are absent and single parents who are unable to do such a thing, but the formative years of a child are the most important, as they will ultimately shape their entire lives.  If you either don’t want to get involved in getting to know them and showing them the world in your own controlled environment.  Well, you’re a bad parent.  Be educated about your child, because you knew when the climax happened that either that child was going to never be, or would become a massive factor in your life.  It’s easy to instinctively blame a massive group.  It’s right to try and fix the problem whenever you first see it tilt it’s horrendous face.  Also, Minecraft has been used to teach six-year-olds about resource management and sharing!

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