Nigmabox Rundown (21/4-27/4) Those Delightful Diamond Dog Days

Bif old bootThe world was his oyster, or at least that’s what he always said.  Running around the country for 25 years, twice his expected life span.  No one cared or noticed, he was just a stray mutt.  Still, he bounced between owners, shelters, and even demonstrated his powers in the war.  He was effectively a monster who would bite your dick off even after taking some buck to the ass.  He never had a proper name,  I just call him boss, the leader of the Diamond Dogs… It was either that or, “I know she’s got a booty, and damn is it a cutie, so I’ll go, back it up like a dump truck, gotta get it in and pump-”  Which while fun, I prefer writing about immortal dogs biting off knobs, oh and video games.

Kicking the dog in the face by not talking about a story in particular, but bringing up a prediction for what shall happen in this eighth generation of the videoed games.  Sparked by how I wanted to talk about Nintendo pushing the indies for yet another time, and various good things about the Playstation 4.  I’m going to say that this is the generation where a lot of AAA games will flop, while indies are being pushed out like the next big thing.  With games already being a pit of money and time, the notion of doubling it has been thrown about with talks of generation 8, which will lead to a disaster if games are like Tomb Raider and expect to sell 5 million, or focus on being the same thing ad nauseum like, well, that depends on who you’re asking.  Although nearly everyone’s betting on the Indie horse, so giving it more grain is only a good sign.  Hell, even Microsoft is supposedly going in the right direction after more or less ignoring the indie scene for months upon months.

VO Boring Dull Drooling Sleepy

All made no better how a once massive company like THQ crumbled as quickly as it did.  With its 150+ IPs now being sold off, with Nordic Games getting most of the unsold ones for 5 million.  Who are Nordic?  I really don’t know, but they’ve got the Darksiders and that is enough for me to look at them.  Yet even that is up in the air.  With Nordic not planning on pushing another $25 million for another Darksiders.  Hopefully with all their money trees Crytek USA’s remnants of the original creators can buy the licensing fees, but I’m guessing it, along with most of those 150 IPs, will not be used sadly enough.  With Gearbox oddly wanting to use a space battle thingie called Homeworld, huh.

 

WataMota Sad ending of Summer MiserableAlthough on a happier note, Ratchet & Clank is getting a movie!  By a mostly unknown studio and some people who made toy tie in DVD specials…  I would normally be spectacle, although based on how it looks like the series, is being monitored by Insomniac, and written by the series writer, things look swell.  Wish I had the opportunity to play the series, but a friend just had to sell it before I could use his PS3 while he’s half a country away.

PGOS Talk Sex With The Dox PUppet

But not everything can be peaches and cream, as Capcom is releasing, following a cancellation of several titles.  Yet, none were announced so everything is happy go lucky.  It is like getting sad a child was aborted.  They never did jack as far as we’re concerned, and never got to show any promise until we examine their sexy corpses with our sticks years later, masturbating over what could have been… Podtoid is bad for you kids!

SCD You Can't say that!  MeanieAlthough not as bad as the notion of Nintendo not having an E3 press conference, if the internet’s reaction is any indication.  Instead of trying to compete with two parties with next generation titles to show off along with new consoles, Nintendo claimed it would instead focus on news through Nintendo Directs and offer a lot of software news/demos at E3.  Just not in a compact conference, and more likely before everything big.  Just throw a Nintendo Direct up on June third or whenever, and have the demos in the big convention center.  All it really means is that we get less awkwardness… Wait, no we wouldn’t!

PGOS Just you Wait Sexy BroYeah, the new consoles, not looking forward to that.  With Microsoft undoubtedly revealing theirs on the 21st of May.  Something I am anticipating due to the inevitable poop trains, while dreading the fact that it will probably be bad, and I have the predecessor as my primary game system.  Yet I apparently should just get the slick slim version and not worry about getting one of those system failures I nearly got thrice.  Because the thing will likely be $500, or $300 if you make monthly payments.  Really?  $500 for something that will likely require another online subscription to access all but the most basic features?  Well, at least it is getting backwards compatibility, or so I heard.

SCD Curry of Chibi Girls Mixing badmanBut that is not all.  With DRM rumors abound.  With the word on the street being how publishers can choose to have either constant online connection, like a prick, or just have a one time connection that is a lot better.  While the idea of constant online connections is one that I’ll only consider come 2017 or so, asking for a one time activation doesn’t sound too bad, but I fail to see what it will solve.  Piracy/Used Games?  One is pretty darn minor, and the other is just putting sand in the knickers of your biggest distributor.  At least the new DVR system seem pretty cool, but I’m still donning my frowny face.

SCD DOing Children Wrong bad PedoI also heard things about the XCOM FPS being reconstructed, which is both true and not true.  Having at some point transform from an FPS to a TPS, 2K games decided to not create a new IP, and decided to follow up the very well received reboot that I have yet to actually play despite owning it, with The Bureau: XCOM Declassified.  Which they revealed via live action trailer, while still boasting the date of August 20th for the release, because that is how you announce a game.  Sure, there are screens, which is something, yet if your game is due out in less than three months, crepes this year is zooming by, I would expect some gameplay.  Afterall, you removed the older stuff so it wouldn’t be any good for explaining what the current game looks like.

KS Get your mind out of the gutter think jerk prickBut to close out this relatively brief bit of stories tied together and coated in butter, remember Sim City‘s debacle and the Aliens Colonial Marines stuff?  Yeah, the industry has a funny way of popping the bubbles of these stories, as pointed out by a Polygon writer and reworded by the patron Saint of all man, Jim Sterling.  And having gone through nearly three months of recapping the happenings like a parrot, I can’t help but realize that the industry does a great job at stopping the discussion about things following two weeks tops.  Afterall, it is just regurgitated PR in a way, so why would a publisher call attention to any issues.  Just stay silent and everything will be fine in the future, I suppose.  Sad face time!

CDI SO Sad About the bums

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