NWS (24/2-02/3): Bake The World Into an Omelette and Shove it Up Your Arse

NWS 5Huh, five weeks in already?  Maybe I can actually keep up this charade for a year, or however long I can do it without being bored out of my skull.  But how can I be when talking about them vidja garmes?

Starting off for the third week in a row with another update of Aliens Colonial Marines fiasco, with the fact a “friend” of mine bought the game being my justification for bringing it up, and the whole embezzling money factoid.  Yes, now Sega talked up, but still anonymously.  Setting the record straight that everyone messed up.  Sega didn’t keep a  very close eye on the project.  Gearbox moved the game’s funds to other projects, and buying the Duke Nukem IP.  While TimeGate apparently threw out work while accepting a project that was above them as a studio.  Truly there are few games that should have been canceled more than this one, seeing as how it wasted a few hundreds of thousands of consumer’s money, and millions from Sega.  Oh, and they admitted the demo to being based on what they wanted to do, not what they could do.

MLM Why Is This Happening Again?

Speaking of lost millions, Sony is still trying to keep pirates at bay, pun intended as always.  This time seems to be fairly reasonable, assuming DRM is not involved.  Where they read how long the disk loading times are for a system and compare them to a benchmark.  Granted, I have no clue how this would even work, seeing as the difference between an illegal game’s loading and a legal’s game loading are topics never brought up.  So maybe it is a neat idea, or just a waste.  I’ll wait for the future to come to me.

MLM Happy Puzzle TIme

But not all are as easy going with the future as I try to be, with Cliffy “the Sexromancer” Bleszinski talking about how Nintendo hardware will phase out in five years.  Something I’d love to see, because it would make millions go out and build computers, or eat sulfur!  Yes, a console free future is something I desire, despite barely being able to touch type.  And I see a company whose consoles have needed better third party support since 1997 to be the first to go.  Even though I very much enjoy their titles, I am greatly looking forward to a crash, or revolution, or whatever.

BTM Dead Face

Speaking of new hardware, here’s an excuse to point and laugh.  Sony is claiming that the PS4 will have the strongest launch library ever.  A claim I hope to remember when they have another rushed launch, with only a few games worthwhile, namely Knack and Killzone 4, certainly the stuff of legends!  Unless they, say, have every PS3, N, 2, 1, and P game on the system right from day one.  Which is something that should be expected more than anything.  Even if importing them might be hard, because coding is tough.  It’s why it took someone less than an hour to make Dark Souls better on the PC, and the Dolphin Emulator can upscale Wii and Gamecube games.

MLM Actions Don't Match Words

Speaking of… Dolphins… that’s a stretch.  A leak revealed that the next Assassin’s Creed will be about pirates.  Marking the… third game in the series to be revealed via leak, if my memory is not filled with fish.  With the oddly introduced subtitle of “Black Flag” the game will probably be viewed negatively due to being the sixth mainstream title in seven years.  But at least we’ve got another tech comparison for the five consoles other than Watch Dogs.
MLM It is okay Stay crunchy

Not that those are the only title I think will launch on all four, perhaps five, systems out in holiday 2013.  With another being Metal Gear Solid 6: Ground Zeroes, the naming system be damned!  You are introducing an engine, give the game a freaking number.  There’ll be tons of continuity anyways.  But that is assuming it’d see a release, which Kojima is uncertain of.  Claiming that some content might need to be censored, not unlike the removed destruction of the Statue of Liberty in Metal Gear Solid 2.  However, that was more or less good taste that breaking taboos.  As long as it does not have Beastiality or Pedophilia, I think you’re good Charlie.  Also, keep the N word under 78 usages.

SAO This is a girl under 16... Japan!

Meanwhile, the only other stealth game series I ever played, Deus Ex, filed a new trademark.  Over the name, Deus Ex: Human Defiance.  Which is either a successor to the well received Human Revolution, even though I found it to be self contained enough.  Or that movie they’ve been talking about, the one that is more based on the game than an adaptation, a path that is probably better than the one taken by other video game movies.  Wait, it’s just a movie.

WataMote As long as I have you, I'll be fine

Remember that Sony fighting game that was kinda like Smash Bros?  Yeah, I barely do as well.  Regardless, the title is still being supported, and in a way that makes me tilt my head, due to how Isaac Clarke and Zeus are coming to the game.  That’s just an odd mix up.  A multiplatform character who I don’t recall giving so much as a bonus to the Sony audience. and a boss character?  Hate to bring this up, but your title implies the characters should be pretty well known, and have done something specific to the platform.  What’s next?  Commander Shepard?  Because it’d be cool if they had both genders.
SB What Are You Doing?

I suppose that EA might consider that, but only after they launch their master plan of putting microtransactions in every game.  A move that will look really dumb if they ever decide to have another single player only title.  Now, I get microtransactions, and even sorta like the concept.  Pay some money to make a game easier?  Sure, just don’t abuse them, make me want to buy them, put effort in making them an integral part of the game.  And the last part should exemplify the problem enough so that I can drop this and talk about something less aggravating.  Also, way to limit games that you can make.
MLM Stupid Idiot

Like the new consoles, which continue to look like bollocks.  With claims of a 70 dollar price tag for games.  Publisher deciding whether or not they want their used games to be playable for both parties.  Oh, and they will be 8-10 times more powerful?  Meaning how many times is the budget multiplied?  Are we going from a 30-50 million dollar range to a 70-100 million dollar range?  How many people must be in a development team?  Are we really blocking out used titles?  How will that happen?  Must we be online to launch a disk?  Will we or won’t we have tiered pricing?  Short answer is looking like a no.  How many people are willing to spend $70 on a game?  Less people than a $60 title.  So your game will be inevitably be forgotten due to how schizophrenic the game industry’s focus on a particular title, because they wanted a price drop.  So you’ll be like El Shaddai, only of interest when you’re $3.  A new generation is suppose to get us pumped for the next big things, but it’s like anticipating a chunk of poop launched via sling.  Just take these pictures of our user interface and piss off!  How is the Wii U looking like it is going to win this console battle, when it’s most rad games often look like this!  You’re console has become a kickstarter dream, and is winning due to that, and that alone.  Keep this up, and I’ll learn how to build a PC!

MLM Cute GOing HOme Leaving

Sorry, now I need some happy.  Willem Dafoe is in Beyond: Two Souls… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YES!  So much fun!  Damn you Davey Cage!  Don’t make another Heavy Rain, a game I don’t remember after watching two commentaries!  Just have Dafoe do whatever.  He can literally take poos all game.  Wait, Heavy Rain was about the lady who lost her good arm as he son’s head was crushed by a truck tire.  The depressed fat detective whose daughter lost her eight year old virginity to a murderer.  And the time travelling quadriplegic girl’s brain that possessed the FBI/Serial Killer so she can fulfill a life, but nobody did the right research and- Nope, that’s what I would have done with Heavy Rain, my bad.

MLM Sparkle Hunting Joy

Now- What’s this?  Crytek wants every game linked online?  …Sorry, I think you spat out some stupid, care to say that again?  The notion of single player needs to go away… I should have known that you were a racist, as well as being stupid.  I honestly feel like telling individuals in this modern day that Chinegro is not a subspecies.  Maybe I’m the moron, but explain how Super Metroid and Amnesia would be far better with integrated online elements into single player!  Multiplayer is fine, as well as using online elements, even though I will call the developers dumbasses as they tearfully close the servers.

WataMote Bad Man INsults Pig Bastard Idiot

Would come up with a witty way to end this, but i’m preparing this post late once more, and need to march through a backlog, while whittling a chapter of Nari’s Log out after two weeks of screwing around.  Even as I’m thinking of altering it once more, and punching myself in the brain for not keeping enough focus about 80 pages in.  That’s the problem with not planning out a storyline, it gets confusing in terms of what exactly your goal is.  Same thing with this weekly segment, if you threw in something involving a stress ball.  Hang on, let me get some happy… gee willickers, drugs must be wonderful if this makes me feel intoxicated.

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